Blabbering Emotions

Emotions run wild. Up the stream, down the mountain, under the tunnel, over the bridge, across the street, in the sewer pipes, over the rainbow...Ever think one way and feel another all at the same time? Did you ever start a fight only to get a hug? How about feeling like crap but dressed to the nines. Ever feel you are so happy you can touch the heavans or so low you can feel the fires of hell?
I've dealth with these conflincting emotions - happy but angry, hopeless but hopeful, spacey yet so grounded, so dead but so alive.
I drive myself crazy trying to make sense of them. I stay up late, I need to use ativan, I try to talk it out but most of the time nothing comes out of it because how do you talk about how you are feeling when you really don't know? Cancer Sucks! It leaves you totaly preoccupied. A simple question like how you are doing becomes a blabbering disertation and in the end you said nothing more than "OK". I'm saying good night because I'm beginning to blabber right now!